The God of Breaking Rules in the Land of the Dead
by Alara Rogers
Summary: A myth of ancient Equestria. When the God of Breaking Rules loses his love, a mortal mare, he goes on a quest to break the most sacred rule of the gods, the law of life and death, and return her to the world of the living. Whatever it takes. And it's going to take *everything.*
1. Chapter 1

_Notes: This is supposed to be an Equestrian myth, not necessarily representative of what "actually" happened. It is not part of my Star Trek crossover series; in other words, Discord __isn't__ Q in this fic._

* * *

Once upon a time the god of breaking rules walked the earth in the form of a handsome alicorn stallion, for his love was a mortal mare.

His love was kind, beautiful, noble and heroic. In those days the unicorns and the pegasi did not exist, and only gods walked in the form of alicorns, so she was an earth pony, but she was a princess and had a noble heart. One day she died protecting Harmony and the kingdom. She was still very young, and all the ponies mourned their princess.

The god of breaking rules was heartbroken. And then, because he was the god of breaking rules, he decided he would break the rule of life and death and return his love to life.

This was the most sacred law of the gods. Thus, when he asked the council of the gods for leave to do this thing, as he was the god of breaking rules and therefore breaking this rule should be his right, they told him no. The law of life and death was a law that even the god of breaking rules could not be permitted to break, for it governed the natural order of things, and breaking it would bring chaos and disharmony to the world.

So the god of breaking rules thought and thought about how he could enact his plan anyway.

* * *

First he went to the sky. "Hello, sky, how are you on this fine day?"

"I am lonely," the sky sighed. "My only friends are the Sun and the Moon. Will you spend some time with me?"

"Of course!" the god said. "I'm lonely too. The mare that I loved is dead; only spending time with my friends can soothe my heart."

"You are my friend?" the sky asked.

"Of course we are friends. Just because you are the sky, and I break the rules, doesn't mean we can't be friends, right? Who wouldn't want to befriend somepony as beautiful as you?" He sighed. "My lost love was beautiful, but even her radiance couldn't compare to your loveliness, sky. Many times she would look up at you and rejoice in your beauty. I only wish..."

"What do you wish, god of breaking rules?"

"Your dresses are so beautiful and she would have looked so lovely in a dress like that. But now she is dead. I wish I had a scarf made from the fabric of your dress, that I could lay it on my love's tomb so she could wear it in the land of the dead, and remind herself of your beauty."

"That's so sweet," said the sky. "I think I have just the thing."

The sky drew forth two scarves, one from the fabric of her sundress, and one from the fabric of her nightgown. "You can have these, my friend. Lay them on the tomb of your love so she can remember me, in day and in night."

"Thank you, sky. Let me give you a gift in return."

The god of breaking rules lifted two ponies into the sky, a mare and a stallion. He blew on their backs and wings sprouted there, like the wings of birds. For in those days it was a rule, that only birds should have wings with feathers, and he was the god of breaking rules. "Here, sky. Here are two ponies with wings to be your friends. They will fly within you, and catch your clouds for you, and love you, and their children and their children's children as well."

"I love them!" sky said. "What a thoughtful present. I will call them pegasus!"

"You're welcome, sky," said the god. "It was no trouble at all."

Now the sky wanted to play with her new friends, so the god took his leave and went to visit the Sun.

* * *

"Oh, Sun," the god of breaking rules said. "You are so beautiful, it soothes my heart. For I have lost my mortal love, and the only thing that will ease my pain is if I can bask in your radiance."

"I am pleased to have you for a guest, o god of breaking rules," said the Sun. "I am very lonely too. I never have a chance to see my sister, for we can never spend time together in the sky. When I am awake she must sleep, and when I sleep she must awake."

"That's very sad," the god of breaking rules said. "And really quite unfortunate. Your sister has grown into quite a fantastic beauty! I believe you would be impressed."

Now the Sun was very vain. She loved her little sister, but it was important to her that everypony see her as the more beautiful of the sisters. So she said, "She isn't more beautiful than me, is she?"

"Who could think so! Although... well..." The god of breaking rules took a good long look at the Sun. "Now that you mention it..."

"She cannot be! How could anypony think my sister is more beautiful than me?"

"Oh, I'm sure nopony does," the god assured her. "She _is_ very beautiful, but not quite as beautiful as you. It's just that she has so many lovely gems!"

"My sister has lovely gems?"

"Yes, all sorts of sparkling gems all about her. Of course she cannot match your radiance, but her gems do give her a subtle and startling beauty that... well, my dear, of course your _unadorned_ beauty is far greater than hers, but..."

"I must see my sister's gems!" the Sun said. "Why can I not have gems of my own?"

"Perhaps you can," the god said. "I know a way you may be able to borrow your sister's gems, but I will need to talk to your sister on your behalf."

"Oh, if only I could talk to my sister myself!"

"Oh, there is nothing easier, Sun," the god said. "I know exactly the way to do that."

"You do?"

"Yes. Give me a piece of your heart. I will find a beautiful pony, worthy of you, and give her that piece, and you will be born within her. As a pony you will be able to look at your sister and her gems whenever you wish to stay up at night, and you will be able to speak to her."

"Oh, god of breaking rules, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I will give you a piece of my heart. Go forth and talk to my sister about my borrowing her gems, and when you find a worthy mare, give her my heart and let me be born in a pony."

"I shall go right away," the god said, and went to visit the Moon.

"Oh, Moon! I have just come from your sister the sun. She misses you dearly!" the god said.

"And I miss her," Moon said softly. "But we can never share the sky together, so we can never see each other."

"It's too bad; you missed some wonderful stories," the god said. "She was telling me all about the things she sees the ponies doing as she watches them in the day."

The Moon felt jealous. "I never get to see ponies," she whispered. "They're always sleeping when I'm out. I wish I could watch the ponies too."

"I know a way you can do that, Moon."

"You do?"

"Yes. I am the god of breaking rules. I can break the rule of night and day for you and allow you to come out in the day. Then you would be able to see all the ponies!"

"That would be marvelous! I would love that!"

"But I would ask of you only one small favor in return. My heart is broken, for my beloved is dead. She loved to look up at the night sky and see your beauteous face, and whenever I see you, I remember the times my love was happy. Please give me a small piece of your heart, Moon, to carry with me so that I may remember my love's happiness, and I will show you the way to see ponies who are awake."

"That seems a small price," Moon said, and gave the god of breaking rules a small piece of her heart.

Then the god of breaking rules broke the rule of day and night. Moon came out during the day and saw the ponies of the world at their daily business. As she moved to get a better look, she saw her sister. "Sister! Sister Sun! It has been so long!" she said, and ran to give her sister a hug.

When Moon hugged her sister, she blocked her sister's light from the world. Sun disappeared, only visible as a brilliant corona of light around Moon's edges, and Moon's gems, the stars of the sky, appeared all around Sun. So Moon was able to see the ponies, and Sun was able to borrow her sister's gems, and both were able to meet each other for the first time in many years. This was the first eclipse. And that is why you should not fear an eclipse, for it is only the sisters embracing each other.


	2. Chapter 2

Next the god of breaking rules went to the home of the weavers of Fate, the three sisters, Spinner, Weaver, and Sealer. Spinner was a filly with the cutie mark of a spindle; Weaver was a mare of mature years with the cutie mark of a loom; and Sealer was an elderly mare with the cutie mark of a scissor. They directed the fates of all living things, for when Spinner spun out a new thread, a new life would be born; Weaver would weave that thread into her loom, the tapestry of life; and when the pattern was done, Sealer would snip off the thread and seal it into the pattern. Thus happens the fate of all things, ponies and gods alike.

"Good day to you, little Spinner," the god of breaking rules said. "You look adorable today!"

"Thank you," Spinner giggled.

"I've come to ask a favor of you. I have these –" He offered up Spinner the beautiful scarves of the sky –"for you to wear. It is so sad that you spin all day and yet never can you wear any of the beautiful cloth that you and your sisters make. "

"They're beautiful!" Spinner said. "So you must want something."

"I only want a small thing. A single spool of thread, that's all."

Spinner seemed to consider it. But Weaver and Sealer heard all that the god had said. "No," Sealer said. "The thread of life is only to be wielded by the Fates. No other god may have our thread. Now go, god of breaking rules."

"But I just got here," the god said.

"And therefore you have been here too long. You are a god of trickery and chaos and we are gods of order and control."

"Now how can that be?" the god asked. "Everyone knows the twists and turns of Fate are wilder and more chaotic than I could ever be. All I do is break a few rules."

Weaver glared at him. "Like the law of sun and moon, night and day. Ponies run in terror to see the moon cover the sun."

"It's not my fault ponies don't appreciate a touching family reunion."

"Like the law of birds and wings," Spinner said.

"Oh, yes, it's a great tragedy for ponies that now they can fly, I'm sure they're crying about it right now. Wait, no, they're not. They're flying in the sky, who by the way is very happy with the gift I gave her." He huffed and stood on his hind legs. "But since you are going to be rude and inhospitable, I'll go."

He spun on his hind legs to turn and walk away, but his back leg gave out under him and he slipped. Wildly he waved his forelimbs and twisted his body so he would fall face first, and he staggered into the loom and then fell.

"Oh no!"

"The tapestry!"

"You've torn it, stupid god ofbreaking rules! Now we must reweave, quickly, or there will be catastrophe!"

"Go from this place or I will cut your thread," Sealer said menacingly.

"_Fine_. So sorry I tripped. This is the last time I bring any of you gifts," the god said, and stomped away. When he was no longer in the Fates' home, he grinned broadly, and spat out the spool of thread he'd grabbed with his mouth while he was falling into the loom. The Fates had been too upset by the damage he was causing to notice him stealing the thing he had come for.

Next he went to the god of Love. "Ho, brother! Get drunk with me! My mortal love is dead and I want to mourn her with the god that let me have her for as long as I did."

"That is a delicious-looking wine you've brought," Love said. "It has been some time since I've had a friend to drink with. I will mourn with you, brother."

"This is the best wine I have. Only the best for you, who gave me the time I did have with my love, so I shall be grateful to you forever."

"It is delicious," Love said.

They set to drinking. Now, there are many rules about when you should and should not drink, and the god of breaking rules had broken them all, so he was very experienced with drink. Love made use of drink at times to bring ponies together and make them lose their fear of admitting their love, but rarely did Love drink himself. So it wasn't long before Love was very drunk.

"Oh, brother," the god of breaking rules said. "I will never again love another mortal. From now on I shall love only goddesses."

"Thassh a fine idea," Love said. "_Fine_ idea. Goddeshesh."

"I am very attracted to Nature," the god of breaking rules admitted. "She is so wild. And she breaks many rules, as I do. But she is so beautiful, how would she ever be willing to love me?"

"Yer right, brozzer. Shesh outta yer league," Love said.

"Dear brother, I don't suppose you'd be able to help me with that?"

"Well. Nature. She doeshn't do love. Nopony tiesh her down, you know? Free... free shpirit. But she likes shex. Lotsh of it. Sho I could give you a lusht potion and at leasht you could have her for a night, you know?"

"Thank you brother, that will help me greatly. I'm sure with my charm and my skill in bed, I can win Nature's love, so long as she desires me."

So Love gave the god of breaking rules a potion to seduce Nature with.

When the god of breaking rules went to see Nature, he brought more wine. "Nature! My beloved sister! Please walk with me. My heart is broken and I am lonely, for my mortal love is dead. Only time spent in your beautiful company will ease me!"

"You silly flatterer," Nature said, laughing, for she liked the god of breaking rules. She had allowed him to make some of her creatures and break the rules she had created, for Nature creates rules only to break them. "I see you've brought wine."

"Only the finest for my most beautiful sister!"

Before long, Nature had drunk the wine with the potion in it. "Oh god of breaking rules, I never noticed before how handsome you are," she said. "I enjoy pleasure very much. Would it please you to spend this night with me?"

"Nothing would please me more," the god of breaking rules said.

Now, if there is anything that has more rules than pleasuring, it must be on a far away world. The god of breaking rules was very, very experienced, because of all the rules to be broken in bedrooms. Of course Nature was experienced and lusty as well. They enjoyed each other for hours and hours. But the god of breaking rules was sure to spend most of his time pleasing his partner rather than taking pleasure for himself. And thus, when their pleasuring was done, Nature fell asleep, exhausted by all her enjoyment. But the god of breaking rules did not. He rolled out of bed as the Dark Lady of Dreams approached, so she found only Nature in the bed. And as the Lady of Dreams brought dreams to Nature, the god of breaking rules left Nature's boudoir to find her workroom, where she kept the clay of life, the substance she makes all living creatures from. He stole a large blob, the size of a muzzle, but because he was the god of breaking rules it was enough clay to make a pony. Then he crept out, careful not to wake Nature from her dreams.

Now he went to his final stop, the Goddess of Wisdom. As she sat in her library, penning a tome of magic, he entered. "Lovely goddess! What a beautiful morning this is!"

"I haven't been out of my library yet, so I wouldn't know." She looked up. "God of breaking rules, I am busy. Stop trying to flatter me and get to the point."

"I have come again to ask if I may free my mortal love from the land of the dead and make her immortal. I cannot go on without my love. Day and night all I can think of is my broken heart and my grief for her."

The Goddess of Wisdom said, "You should have thought of that before you fell in love with a mortal."

"We don't choose who we love!" the god of breaking rules said. "And she died so young! It wasn't even her time!"

"Listen well, god of breaking rules," the Goddess of Wisdom said. "The law of life and death exists for a reason, and you may not gainsay it. To violate that law would shatter the harmony of the world, and bring nothing but chaos. I am sorry, but you will get over your grief, in time."

Angrily the god grabbed a book off the Goddess' shelf and swallowed it. The Goddess was angered. "You are destroying my book!"

"It needed some salt," the god of breaking rules said, and ran from the Goddess of Wisdom's wrath. The book that he ate was the dictionary that translates between the words of mares and the words of stallions, and that is why mares and stallions have such a hard time understanding each other.

When he had left the Goddess of Wisdom, he spit the book back out, well chewed, and pulled out its bone-white pages from within. He chewed the pages some more until they were a pulp, and then twisted them into the shape of a horn, and blew on the shape to make it solid and dry. Then he removed his own horn for safekeeping and swallowed it, and placed the fake horn on his head. He bundled all the things he had gathered – the clay, the hearts of the sun and the moon, and the spool of thread – into the scarves, and he swallowed them too.

And then the god of breaking rules went to the gate blocking the Land of the Dead.


	3. Chapter 3

The guardian of the gate blocking the Land of the Dead was a giant rock. "Hello, rock, how are you on this fine day?" the god of breaking rules said. "I have come to perform a surprise inspection of the land of the dead on behalf of the other gods, so if you would move aside for me, I would appreciate it."

"I will not move aside," rock said. "I am obstinate. I am unyielding. And I am charged with guarding this door."

"Well, rock, if you won't move, I'll have to move you," the god of breaking rules said.

"I will hold to my post. I will not move. I will uphold the law. The living may not enter the land of the dead."

"You know who you're talking to, right? The god of breaking rules? I don't care about your law, and now I am going to move you." The god of breaking rules attempted to move the rock, but he wasn't strong enough.

"I am strength. I am foundation. I am all that is unchanging. I will not move for you," rock said.

"Well, I am the master of all that changes. So we shall see which of us is the stronger," the god of breaking rules said.

First he sent fire against rock. Rock did not change and it did not move. "Fire cannot burn rock," rock said. "Rock is forever, unchanging. I will not move."

Then he sent air against rock. A hurricane gale lashed against rock, but rock did not change and it did not move. "Air cannot push rock," rock said. "Rock is forever, unchanging. I will not move."

Finally the god sent water against rock. A river poured against rock, but rock did not change and it did not move. "Water cannot change rock," rock said.

"Wait for it," the god said.

And then rock cried out in horror as it realized that river was wearing it away. Bit by bit the rushing water took away pieces of rock until there was a huge hole in rock's center, large enough for the god of breaking rules to slip through.

"Change is forever," the god mocked. "And nothing ever lasts. In the end, I will always win."

"I am forever," rock said, "and I will have my revenge. Someday, god of breaking rules, someday I will have you."

"You just go on telling yourself that," the god of breaking rules said, and entered the land of the dead.

* * *

The god expected to meet a gate in the tunnel, and he was not disappointed. The gate was made of iron, and guarded by minotaurs. "Halt!" they said. "You may not pass through here."

"I am the god of breaking rules, and thus I have special dispensation to go anywhere I want," the god of breaking rules said. "I will go through your gate and you cannot stop me."

"Then we require that you pay a price. You may give up your memories of life, or you may give up your horn."

"I will give up my horn," the god said, broke off his paper-mache horn, and gave it to them. They were fooled by his magic, and let him pass through the gate, believing that his magic was taken from him.

He whistled cheerfully as he walked down the tunnel until he reached the next gate, the gate of bronze. "Oh come on now!"

"Halt," said the griffins guarding the gate. "You may not pass through here."

"I am the god of breaking rules, and can someone explain to me where the _river_ went? There was supposed to be a river here! Not another gate! This is completely unfair!"

"You came in through the opening to the world of the living," the griffins said, "which was sealed by the Lord of the Dead a thousand years ago. There are seven gates on this path. To reach the path with the river, you would have to die, for only the dead can find their way."

The god of breaking rules did not want to die; he wanted to find his beautiful mare and bring her out of the land of the dead. "Very well. Tell me what price I must pay to pass these gates."

"You may give up your memories, or you may give up your wings."

The god winced, because he loved his wings, but he loved his beautiful mare more. "Very well, I will give you my wings."

With their beaks the griffins tore the wings from the god's back. He gritted his teeth and did not cry out from the pain, because he was doing this for his love. Then they let him pass through the gate.

Bleeding and in pain from his wounds where the wings had been torn from him, the god stumbled down the tunnel, until he encountered the gate of brass. "Third gate. Only seven total. I can do this."

"Halt," the manticores guarding the gate said. "You may not pass through here."

"Look, just tell me what I'm supposed to pay so I can get this over with, all right? I'm the god of breaking rules, I can go anywhere. Just tell me the price."

"You may give us your memories, or you may give us your tongue."

The god reeled back in shock. Without his tongue, he would be unable to speak. Without speaking, how could he perform his tricks? How could he persuade and cajole and deceive others in the course of breaking the rules?

But his memories of his love were all that gave him strength. He would not yield them at any cost. "Take my tongue, then."

They pulled his tongue from his mouth. He screamed, but had no more ability to plead with them as they ripped it from him, for without his tongue he could not speak.

I still have my horn in my belly, he thought. I can still use magic. I can endure this.

At the fourth gate, the gate of copper, the guards were tigers, and the price they demanded was his left foreleg.

At the fifth gate, the gate of silver, the guards were harpies, and the price they demanded was his right foreleg.

He stood on two legs, staggering, knowing that if he fell he would never get up again, not without forelimbs, and continued down the tunnel.

At the sixth gate, the gate of gold, the guards were ponies. And they took his left hind leg.

Although it was dangerous to reveal that he still had his magic, he could not go forward on one leg without it, so he used his magic to balance himself and hopped on his one remaining leg to the final gate, the gate of obsidian. There, the guards were windigos.

The god of breaking rules expected them to take his final leg, and that he would have to use his magic to enter the kingdom of the dead. Instead, the windigo cut off his entire lower body, including his leg. The god screamed, and fell to the ground, unable to move.

Because he had earned the passage, the windigos dragged his bloody body through the gate of obsidian. Now he was in the land of the dead and he had his magic, and his ears and eyes, but nothing else.

And then the Lord of the Dead appeared before him. "You foolish god. You think you can break my rule without consequence? You think the law of death is to be trifled with?"

The god wanted to make sarcastic, witty replies, but without his tongue, he could not. He was too weak and tired from blood loss and pain to make his magic work. He was helpless before the Lord of the Dead.

The Lord of the Dead picked him up by the next and shook him. "You will learn what it means to defy _this_ rule, god of breaking rules!"

And then the Lord of the Dead marched all the way up the tunnel, carrying the god of breaking rules upright by the neck. The weight of the god's body made his neck stretch like a giraffe, and he choked in the Lord of the Dead's grip, but without his limbs or wings or tongue, he was helpless. Finally the Lord of the Dead reached the outside, where he flung the god. "Die here of your wounds and you will be reunited with your lost love. Else, learn to accept that you will never see her again."

But the god of breaking rules would not be so easily defeated.


	4. Chapter 4

After the Lord of the Dead left him, he coughed up his horn and held it between his teeth, so he could use his magic to call for help.

First he called to Dragon, and Dragon came. "Dragon, the Lord of the Dead has cut me in half. I need another half or I will die. Give me your lower half, with your two legs, and I will break two rules for you. I will break the rule of fire and the living, allowing you to be immune to fire and to breathe it out at your prey. And I will break the rule of stone and the living, allowing you to eat crystalline stone and draw strength from it."

"I will not take that deal, god of breaking rules," Dragon said. "Those are attractive things, but not worth losing my entire lower body for. I will give you only my lower body, no legs, if you give me a means to grow quickly so I can restore myself."

"I need at least one leg," the god of breaking rules said. "I will have to give my gifts to another creature if you cannot give me your lower body and at least one leg."

Now Dragon is fierce, and dragons do not live in harmony with each other. Dragon considered, for he wanted the god's gifts very much. So he flew to his home and said to his mate, "My wife, I have been offered a deal by the god of breaking rules. We will have the ability to breathe fire, and eat gemstones, and quickly grow. I need only give him my lower body and one of your legs."

"I do not think those gifts are worth one of my legs," his wife said.

"Well, I do, and I am bigger than you." So saying, Dragon tore his wife's leg off and flew back to the god of breaking rules.

"God of breaking rules, I will give you a dragon leg and a dragon's lower body. The dragon's lower body will be mine; the leg is my wife's. Give me your gifts."

So the god of breaking rules took the dragon's long, powerful tail and the lower part of the dragon's body, and the leg torn from the wife of Dragon, and gave Dragon his three gifts. "To grow back your body or to turn to great size, only go to your hoard that you have saved and sleep on it," the god of breaking rules said. "Greed will give you strength and growth. Your wounds will heal and you will become even larger than you are."

"Thank you, god of breaking rules," Dragon said, and returned home to share the news with his wife.

Next the god of breaking rules called to Goat. "Goat, you are so small, ponies take all your food and crowd you off their land. I can give you a gift to help you with that."

"I would love such a gift," Goat said, "for it is true. I am small, and ponies take all my food, and push me off their lands."

"Then I will break the rule of hooved creatures for you. You will not need to live on flat, even lands as ponies and cows and deer do; you will be able to live on the roughest, most dangerous mountains. And you will be able to feed on any type of food at all, even foods that ponies consider spoiled, foul-tasting or poisonous. All I ask in return is that you give me your leg and one horn."

"That sounds like a good deal," Goat said, and gave the god of breaking rules his leg and one horn. And that is why goats live in the mountains where ponies cannot easily walk, and eat foods no pony is willing to taste.

Next the god of breaking rules called to Eagle. "Eagle, you fly so high, it is hard for you to see your prey down on the land below."

"It is true," Eagle said, "but I am too strong and proud to fly lower."

"I will break the rule of eyesight for you. I will give you unnatural eyes that can see the prey on the land at any distance, no matter how high you fly. All I ask from you is a wing and a talon."

Eagle was hungry, but too proud to change her behavior, so the god's gift appealed to her. She agreed, and that is why eagles can see from so far away in the sky, farther than any pegasus can see.

Next the god of breaking rules called to Lion. "Lion, your cubs go hungry, for the other cats are quicker to take your prey than you. You are not stealthy like panther, or powerful like tiger, or fast like cheetah. But I can give you an advantage."

Lion was sad, because she could not feed her cubs as well as she would like, and they mewled with hunger all the time. "I will take any advantage," Lion said. "What will you give me?"

"I will break the rule of cats for you. Cats are solitary hunters. I will give you harmony with your sisters. You will work together with them to hunt in packs, so you will be able to hunt bigger prey, faster prey, and more alert prey than you can do now. All I ask is that you give me your forelimb and the tuft of your tail."

"I will do that, for I would love to hunt in harmony with my sisters, and take more prey that way."

And so Lion gave the god of breaking rules her forelimb and the tuft of her tail, and became the only cat that hunts in packs.

Finally the god called to his own two creations, Bat and Snake. "Bat, my child, I need a favor. You were a creature of nighttime when I broke the rule of flying creatures and made you the first furred creature that can fly. But now it is hard for you to find your prey in the darkness that you love. Give me your wing, as once I gave it to you, and I will break the rule of eyesight and give you the ability to see with song."

"Father, I would give you my wing anyway, for I would not have it if not for you," Bat said. "But I accept your gift." And so Bat gave the god of breaking rules her wing, and gained the power to see with her song.

"Snake, I cannot speak without my horn, for the Lord of the Dead took my tongue. I broke the rule of creatures that move on the land for you, and gave you the power to move without legs. Give me now your tongue that I may speak."

"You gave Bat a present in exchange for her wing," Snake said. "What present will you give me?"

"Snake, I made you. You owe me."

"You made Bat but you still gave her a present. If you are going to play favorites I won't give you anything."

The god of breaking rules was angry at his ungrateful child, but he needed Snake's tongue so he did not say so. "Then I will ask of you _two_ gifts. Give me your tongue and also a fang. And I will give to you a rattle for your tail."

"What good does a rattle for my tail do me?" Snake asked.

"When you shake it, it will terrify your prey into standing still, so you can more easily catch them."

"Well, all right, that sounds okay," Snake said, and took the god's gift, in exchange for his tongue and one fang. But the god had tricked Snake, for while sometimes prey freeze at the sound of Snake's rattle, other times prey startle and run away, so the rattle is sometimes a gift and sometimes a curse.

Now the god had everything he had lost: two wings, four limbs, a tongue, and a lower body with a tail. He also had an extra horn in case he needed it, and a fang just because it looked cool. He put his own horn back on his head and began to search for the second way to the land of the dead, the one where he would need to swim a river but would not need to go through the seven gates.

But while he was searching, Stag came to him. Stag was very proud and arrogant, and thought that if the other animals had received gifts from the god of breaking rules, why couldn't he? "God of breaking rules, I have come to ask for a gift!" Stag said.

"Do you know the way to the land of the dead?" the god asked.

"No, because I am not dead," Stag said.

"Well, then go away. You're of no use to me."

"I demand that you give me a gift!" Stag said. "You gave so many animals gifts, and I am so strong and proud with my fine antlers, I deserve a gift more than they do!"

"Don't those fine antlers give you a headache from carrying them around all the time?" the god of breaking rules said.

"Well, they do sometimes," Stag admitted.

"Then here's my gift," the god said, and Stag's antlers fell off.

"What have you done? You took my antlers!" Stag screamed.

"They'll grow back. Every spring you will lose your antlers and grow new ones. That way you won't have so many headaches. Now go away before I give you another gift."

Stag ran away in fear. The god picked up one of Stag's antlers. "You can never have enough horns," he said, and put it in his bag with all his other things.

As the god passed through the glade, he found a dying bird, who had been burned badly by a lightning strike. "Oh, bird, maybe this isn't the best time, but I need a dead creature to guide me to the land of the dead. My mortal love is dead and I am on a quest to go into the land of the dead and bring her back to life. Will you do that for me?"

The bird was a very kind bird who loved to help others, and who was sympathetic to the god's story of love. She also liked to break an occasional rule and play a prank from time to time herself, so she appreciated the god. "I will do that," she sang, though her voice was weak from the pain of her burns.

The god gave her the strength to fly even though she was all but dead. Because she was dying, she knew the way to the second entrance to the land of the dead, over a cliff shrouded in mist. "Fly down to the base of the cliff, and you will find the River Styx," the bird said. "The ferrymare will take you across, and then you will be in the land of the dead."

"Thank you, bird, you have helped me so much. I will break a rule for you."

Because the bird was not quite dead yet, the god of breaking rules did not have to break the rule of life and death to break the rule of fire and death. He changed the bird so that fire, rather than killing her, would cause her to be reborn at her full strength. And then he set her aflame, and she burst back into life as a glorious orange-winged phoenix.

"Thank you, god of breaking rules! I did not feel ready to die!" the bird sang, and flew away, overjoyed to be returned to health and life.

"You're welcome, bird!" the god called. "Come back when I have returned with my love, and I am sure she will want to meet you and make friends with you, you have helped us so much!"

Then the god of breaking rules flew down the cliff, to land on the bank of the river that bordered the land of the dead.


End file.
